


Memories Revisited

by TheGrinch



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Hurt Dick Grayson, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-16 14:52:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17551796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGrinch/pseuds/TheGrinch
Summary: Dick's having a rare day to himself when Jason visits.





	Memories Revisited

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is something I came up with last night and wrote today. I've pretty much just posted it before I chicken out and it disappears into the AO3 folder on my laptop to never see the light of day again with the other dozens of stories in there. There's likely to be loads of mistakes, so apologises, feel free to point them out!
> 
> I own nothing except this story idea. 
> 
> Enjoy, I have no idea if that should be taken with a pinch of salt though.

There's too many take out boxes spread across the apartment, as if they’re trying to replace the photographs he didn't bother putting out when he moved in. Dick grimaces as he collects them all into a bin bag wondering just how long some of the boxes have been lying around. The dishes are next; there aren’t many owing the diet of fast food and ready meals he’s lived off but they’ve been sitting there long enough that the stuff on them has almost cemented. As he dusts and polishes Dick tries not to imagine the heart attack Alfred would have if the older man saw the level of dust and dirt lingering on the furniture. Dick has to turn off the vacuum cleaner four times to pull out too big chunks of rubbish it sucks up. He’s on his second load of laundry by the time the apartment is finally clean and tidy. As a reward Dick treats himself to a long, hot shower which lasts until the water barely warm anymore and his stomach is protesting. 

A survey of the kitchen informs Dick that he will need to go shopping sometime that afternoon or tomorrow if he doesn't want to reintroduce his coffee table to old Chinese food so soon. For now though, a cheese and ham omelette with toast and coffee will do. Dick doesn't profess to being a good cook, or even a half-way decent one, but there are three things he can do well: omelettes, brownies and thai green chicken curry. For about a week after he moved out of the mansion he actually lived solely off those three things, plus apples. 

As he sits on the leather couch Dick sighs happily at actually having a living room which smells of Febreeze Linen than old food, dirty laundry and, somehow, exhaustion. ‘Friends’ appears on the screen as Dick picks it off Netflix and the acrobat grins at the old, yet comforting rerun. 

He’s on the fourth episode when the knock comes. Heavy once, pause, lightly twice. A frown pulls the corners of Dick’s mouth downward, first because he wasn't expecting company and second because he doesn't recognise the style. On the tips of feet Dick slunk to the door and peeped through the hole.

‘Jason?’

Dick doesn't realise his surprised statement was verbal until the younger man asks, or rather tells, him to open the door which Dick does. 

It’s been weeks since they’ve seen each other. Months since they last properly talked. As he moves to let the second Robin in Dick takes the opportunity to actually look Jason over, an action which isn't returned. Instead Jason strides to the couch and plonks himself down. There’s a fading bruise on Jason’s throat which Dick thinks is probably too large to be a hickey unless the person had one hell of a mouth, his hair is longer now - almost the length Dick keeps his - which surprises the acrobat considering how trimmed its usually kept, his posture’s relaxed but there’s something—

‘You know it’s rude to be so obvious about that kinda shit don’t you, Dickhead?’

Dick’s grins sheepishly and scratches the back of his neck as he shuts the door. The retort to tell Jason he’s welcome to leave is at the back of his throat but he swallows it out of curiosity to know why Jason’s come and because he’s actually glad to see the younger man. He wishes they spent more time with one another. 

‘Just surprised you came by the door for once.’

It’s true. It’s the third time Jason’s been to this apartment and the one before he’d visited maybe a dozen or so times but never by the door, even for an actual social visit.

Jason snorts in response but Dick can see the rigid way Jason’s legs are crossed on the black coffee table and how his back’s not fully relaxed into the couch. Something’s up. It’s not Red Hood and Nightwing related though, Jason would have definitely come through the window otherwise. 

‘Can I get you a drink? A bite?’

The questions cause Jason to shift more uncomfortably and he folds his arms. Dick fights the urge to raise an eyebrow. 

‘Coffee. Please.’

Dick nods, moves to grab his plate and cup from next to Jason’s legs, ignores how the bigger man swallows and disappears into the kitchen. When he returns a few minutes later Jason’s eyes are glued to the TV.

‘Ross and Rachel were so toxic to one another.’ 

Dick eyes shift from Jason to the TV to see Ross and Rachel kissing one another. Jason’s right. When Dick was younger he loved the Ross-Rachel relationship, he hated it when the writers split them up and loved it when they finally got back together. Now, though, the early seasons in particular make him uncomfortable. Ross’s obsessive, possessive and jealous behaviour towards Rachel before they were even a couple and especially during the whole Mark thing makes him feel ill. 

‘Yeah, here you go.’  
Jason accepts the cup, sips and then holds it in his hands in a way that makes Dick think Jason’s trying to shield himself. Dick waits for Jason to say what he wants. However, the younger man merely sips at his coffee and keeps his green eyes on the screen. Dick’s okay with that, he knows Jason will get there in his own time. They go through another three episodes before Jason finally speaks. 

‘There’s this joint in Crime Alley, Superbabes. You heard of it?’

This time, Dick doesn't fight the urge to raise an eyebrow. Heard of it? Who hasn’t? It cause quite the backlash when it opened.

‘Yeah. What about it?’

‘I was in there a couple of days ago for a meeting— seriously, don’t look at me like that asshole, I didn’t pick the fuckin’ place. You know I hate that shit, it’s degrading. They’ve,’ Jason pauses and dumps his empty cup on the coffee table. ‘They’ve started hiring guys there too.’

Dick has no idea where this is headed. ‘Okay?’

Jason uncrosses his legs and sits up straight. ‘There’s this one guy… dressed up as fucking Robin, who the fuck am I kiddin’? He’s dressed up as you. First Robin outfit you.’ 

In hindsight, Dick should have clocked there’d be a Robin. Sickos used to go crazy for him as a kid and it wasn't hard to imagine Jason, Tim or Dami getting the same shit too. It was the reason he ditched the so-called scaly panties in the end. 

‘Okay, is that what you came here for? If so, thanks for the heads up but—’

‘What, fuck, no, shit. Shut up.’ Jason swallows. ‘It was what he did. So, shit, there was this guy sitting opposite us. This guy’s fuckin’ handsy but he’s dropping compliments and cash at the Robin server like no one else is fucking there. And this, this Robin guy is lapping it up. Giggling, flirting—’

‘Guy’s just probably trying to do his job—’

‘Shit, I know that, but, fuck…’

Dick leans forward, mutes the TV and rests a hand on the younger man’s knee. ‘Jay, it’s okay. Just say whatever it is you wanna say.’

‘We, we’re almost finished and I hear this Robin guy giggle again. I look and the guy opposite us is whispering something in Robin guy’s ear. He giggles again and this breathy voice goes “yes, please, daddy”.’

Dick swallows uncomfortably and straightens up a little. ‘Okay?’

At first, Jason doesn't say anything, just looks back at the TV. It’s a couple of minutes later when the credits roll on yet another episode of ‘Friends’. 

‘I never hated you more than after I came back from the Pit,’ Dick doesn't understand where the change in topic comes from, but he buries the hurt and confusion to let Jason continue. ‘I hated you so much because you were right. You said to me that Bruce was selfish, unfair. You told me from the day we met that Bruce would only let me down and I thought you were just jealous that I’d replaced you. But you were right, Bruce let me down and I hated you for knowing he would.’

It’s the first time in months that Dick’s heard Jason say Bruce’s name fully and not just shortened it to ‘B’ or something less flattering. It’s also the first time in a long time that Jason has sounded so angry yet calm the same time, like white light. 

‘I thought,’ Jason stops and scoffs, Dick waits because it’s the first time Jason’s paused indicating just how long he’s been waiting to say whatever it is he needs to say. ‘I thought I could hurt you with it. Before I died, all those times you or Bruce said I’d done something wrong or one of your fucking friends had to compare us once a-fucking-gain I wanted to say it. To prove you weren't better than me,’

Butterflies are not so much flying as they are churning in Dick’s stomach as it starts to come together. The shame is burning beneath his skin and he wonders if Jason can see his skin darkening under his gaze and knowledge. The words fall from Jason’s mouth like a flowing stream.

‘And after I died, when I came back it was still more about you than Bruce. That desire to bring you down, stain you,’ Dick doesn't think Jason even realises how spiteful, how venomous his voice has become as he burns under the words. ‘You knew Bruce would fail me and it happened. I hated you. You were the golden child. You are the golden child. You're his golden child in spite of the fact he knows you see right through him, even if the others don’t yet. But what I hated, hate, the most is that you saw through him and you still needed him. You warned me away from him and all the while, you’d let him bury himself in you.’

Jason stops but Dick’s been looking at the floor since the words ‘golden child’ were uttered. It would insult them both to deny it, instead Dick settles for forcing his eyes up and whispering, ‘When did you find out?’

For a moment Jason stares at him, rock against Dick’s bonelessness. ‘Find out? I watched it happen. February 17th 2010. You and he started to argue in the cave because he’d taken the case you’d been working on from you,’

There’s a light of recognition in Dick’s eyes and he briefly looks away again but Jason continues because he can’t stop and he realises that the flickers of hate are still there and this is his satisfaction. 

‘Jay—’

‘Bruce sent me upstairs but I snuck back in. I wanted prove I could move about as quietly as both of you… I also wanted to make sure you were okay,’ A heaviness rises in Jason’s throat as he admits the second part and it negates part of his sense of victory. ‘I knew what an asshole he was. So, I snuck in—’

‘Please, Jay—’ 

‘I didn't look properly at what happening at first, I was more concerned finding a hiding place without being seen. It was only when I actually looked did I see what was happening. I don't know how I could have fucking missed it. At first I thought he was raping you, that he was one of those fuckers we fight. Then you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer and moaned. I didn't know how you could breathe between him and the batmobile. But it’s you, isn't it? Your breathless little pants seemed so loud against the silence around us. You were a mess. And he, he was him. I watched as you clung to him, as you hit your head against the batmobile, as he’d fuck you like you were dying men, as you begged for daddy.’

Jason can see the pleading in Dick’s eyes. He can’t stop, won’t stop and Dick won’t move.

‘By the end you were practically screaming it. I could practically feel how hard he was fucking you. Shit, he probably pinned you down just to stop you being forced higher up the batmobile. You actually blacked out when you came, did you know that? And he, he came so quietly compared to you, heavy panting and some grunts. I don't think he actually moaned until after he pulled out. You know he stood there for a few seconds, watched his cum trickle out your hole and pushed it back in with his fingers and moaned. Then you came to, whimpered as he fingered you splayed out over the batmobile and begged for daddy again, over and over, until you came again. You didn't black out that time. You both stood there for a minute until Bruce tucked himself away, told you this couldn't happen again, that it was a moment of weakness for both of you and it wasn't to be discussed. You blushed, fucking blushed, grabbed you suit and scrambled out of there. I stayed there, you know, ages after Bruce left.’

Jason can’t understand why Dick hasn't moved or told him to stop. There’s a sense of pride in his chest because Dick looks wrecked despite the fact that the older man hasn't moved since he began. A smug victory because he knows that although he may never tell anyone else this, Dick knows that Jason’s seem him brought low.

‘Do you feel better now? 

It’s a statement which cuts through Jason’s gloating. Dick sounds gentle and soothing against the pain leeching into his voice and it hollows Jason’s victory because he doesn't know how to handle this version of Dick and it sobers him. He didn't intend to say it. He intended to use the Robin guy to tell Dick what he knew because he thought he’d moved past it. Past Dick. He wanted to prove he didn't hate Dick anymore by telling him what he knew as a way of denying him the upper hand between the two. But he got so caught up in the past that it all came rushing back and he couldn't stop. Didn't want to stop. 

Did Jason feel better now? 

‘I don’t know.’

It’s Jason’s turn to look at the floor as he thinks for an answer. Dick doesn't say anything, instead he unmutes the TV, collects the mugs and moves into the kitchen. Although Jason knows it doesn't take that long to clean two mugs he says nothing when Dick finally returns to stand awkwardly next to his own couch, clearly unsure on whether he wants to sit down or not. 

Jason should go. They both know it and are both thinking it. Dick follows him to the door, as Jason goes to open it Dick’s voice lulls over him.

‘Do you still hate me?’

Jason turns arounds and looks at the blankness of Dick’s face. A defence against any answer. ‘I don't know, I don't want to. Not you.’

The defence mechanism does its job because Dick’s face gives nothing away and Jason has to settle for a nod. Jason opens the door and steps into the drafty hallway. 

‘Can I ask you a question?’ 

Dick’s curiosity must win out because he doesn't shut the door in Jason’s face, in fact he pulls it back half a foot or so. 

‘Did he even kiss you?’

It’s not a taunt. Jason thinks he already knows the answer but it’s a question that sprung into his mind while Dick was in the kitchen for the first time ever. He has to ask. 

Dick’s face crumples.

Jason moves forward, pushes the door open, tilts Dick’s head up carefully and presses his lips softly against the older man’s. 

‘He should have kissed you.’

**Author's Note:**

> So, that's end. Originally this was more porn and slight less angst when I first thought it up, then it became this. Oh well, life goes on. 
> 
> I have idea if I hated Bruce or Jay more by the end of this. Let me know who pissed you off more!
> 
> Please R+R. Kudos is always welcome :)
> 
> TG x
> 
> P.S I do love 'Friends' so any bashing is unintended, though to be fair, the Ross-Rachel relationship is kind of creepy at times.


End file.
